


Lxxx (spoilery title in end notes)

by rollingday_s



Series: L is for... [2]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 10:22:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10554736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rollingday_s/pseuds/rollingday_s
Summary: Jun always wakes him up. Every morning, without fail, he wakes up before the alarm sounds – because he hates that damn alarm, he told him once – and prepares breakfast. Ohno is always woken up by either the smell ofomuriceor Jun’s breath softly tickling his face.





	

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer** : Arashi don’t belong to me. It’s them who own my Soul! Soul!
> 
> **A/N** : Previously posted on LJ. This is a set of fics with the same title, L is for…. You can consider them as part of the same universe, if you'd like, but they’re not the same fic. They’re just different interpretations of the line “Jun wakes Ohno up,” so it doesn’t matter what order you read them in. Every fics’ “L” stands for something different.

Jun always wakes him up. Every morning, without fail, he wakes up before the alarm sounds – because he hates that damn alarm, he told him once – and prepares breakfast. Ohno is always woken up by either the smell of _omurice_ or Jun’s breath softly tickling his face.

    He giggles as he feels Jun blowing in his ear on purpose so he can wake up.

    “Sleepy,” he mumbles. “No wakey.”

    Jun sighs exasperated. “We’re going to be late, Satoshi.”

    Ohno rolls around in bed, acting like a spoiled child.

    “Satoshi,” Jun warns him, sternly.

    Ohno groans. “I will get up,” he surrenders. “But only if you kiss me,” he adds, hopeful.

    Jun rolls his eyes. He gets up impatiently. “Don’t be silly.”

    Ohno pouts. It’s okay, they can kiss later, he thinks. There must be a later, right?

    He gets up unwillingly and goes to the bathroom to freshen up. He looks at his slumped figure in the mirror. His hair is dishevelled, his pyjama's shirt is reversed, and his eyes are blood-shot over the bags under them. He really needs to sleep more, he thinks. He needs to take care of himself more, or Jun will get mad, he thinks. He doesn’t want to make Jun mad. He likes Jun the most when he’s happy, after all.

    He washes his face and tries to look as presentable as possible, but when he combs his hair he only manages to make them look even more untidy, somehow. He sighs. Jun will definitely tell him off this time, he can’t give up now.

    Slowly he opens the tap and wets his hair so he can blow-dry them in place. It seems to work. He now looks like a respectable man, albeit a very tired one. He can work with that.

    “Are you done?” Jun pokes his head in the bathroom and looks at him. “Did you wash your hair? I heard the drier.”

    Ohno nods as he looks at his lover from the mirror. He’s wearing his favourite black leather jacket, the one Ohno bought for him for their first anniversary together. When Jun unwrapped it, he stared at the leather amazed, feeling the texture under his hands. “Satoshi-kun,” he had said – he still refused to call him without honorifics – “this must have cost a fortune.”

    Ohno hadn’t replied. All the money in the world wasn’t worth Jun’s happiness. He smiled at his wonder as he got up and tried on the jacket. It fit him perfectly.

    “I—I can’t accept it,” he said after a while.

    Ohno frowned. “Yes, you can.”

    Jun bit his lip. “I can’t possibly.” He took off the the jacket and folded it neatly. “It’s too much, I—I don’t know how to repay you.”

    Ohno smiled and pecked his lips. “Silly,” he said, before going in for a deeper kiss.

    Jun was more earnest than usual that night when they went to bed. Ohno grins at the thought.

    “What are you laughing at?” his lover asks, stepping in the bathroom. He moves closer to Ohno, stopping right behind him, putting his hands on the sink so he is trapped between his body and the cold, hard marble. He sees him in the mirror as he closes his eyes and breaths in, caressing him with soft pants, but never quite touching him.

    Ohno doesn't move, afraid that he will break the spell somehow, that Jun will vanish in a puff of smoke if he dared to touch him. He just observes as the youngest towers over him, his face looking a bit sad, but in a peaceful state. A sudden blow hits his heart. He feels so much love in that one second that he thinks he's going to cry. He wants nothing more than for time to stop right this second, so that he and Jun could stand in it untouched. Forever.

    His lover opens his eyes and smiles at him. He almost brushes his cheek with a kiss before moving away. He looks at his watch and mumbles, almost to himself. “It’s late. Can’t make them wait.”

    Ohno nods. They step out of the bathroom. He's dressed when he reaches Jun into the living room. The coffee table is still littered with the take-out from the previous night, when their friends had come over with Chinese – Aiba’s choice, Ohno suspected – to eat together. They still hadn’t found the time to clean that up. They were too busy pushing their fiends out the door because they refused to leave and let them have their time alone.

    Jun pauses in his steps, biting at the inside of his mouth thoughtfully. “We should apologise,” he states.

    Ohno doesn’t ask. “It's okay," he simply says. "They know.”

    Jun seems satisfied with that. He takes his car keys from his pockets. “Want to drive?” he asks with a smirk.

    Ohno still hasn’t gotten his driver’s licence, and he thinks he never will now. But Jun just loves to tease him about endlessly.

    “You should just get one,” he used to tell him. “It’s useful, and you wouldn’t have to rely on others all the time.”

    Ohno would just hum. “But what use will I have for you, then?”

    Jun never protested when he said that, but, depending on his mood, he would either mumble something under his breath while frowning, or make a dirty comeback. Ohno laughed either way.

    He shakes his head. “It’s close by. Let’s walk. It’s a beautiful day out.”

    Jun scrolls his shoulders and agrees.

    It really is a beautiful day, Ohno thinks. The sun is lazily resting in the sky as playful, fluffy white clouds chase each others. It’s November, so it's surely a little cold when you stand in the shadows too long, but in the sun you'd feel so warm that he figures he’s probably wearing too many layers, so he takes his coat off and carries it on his arm. Jun is by his side, puffing from the warmth, but he refuses to take off his beloved jacket even when Ohno laughs at him.

    “Shut up,” he says, a bit irritated. “I’m not that hot,” he states, obviously lying.

    When they reach the park Jun is sweating and flushing so much that he’s relieved when they can find solace under the shadows of the trees. Ohno smirks to himself. He can be so stubborn sometimes.

    They walk side by side, and Ohno almost grabs his hand before remembering that he shouldn’t, and that he can’t. It’s okay, he thinks. There’s always later. He will hold Jun’s hand later.

    “Do you remember?” his lover’s voice almost makes him jump from the surprise.

    “Hmm?”

    He’s looking up at the birds hiding in the trees, his eyes lost in a faraway memory. “The first time you brought me here.”

    Ohno smiles nostalgically. “Under the big cherry tree.”

    Jun snorts. “Like a scene from a cheesy shoujo manga.”

    Ohno chuckles. “You still said yes,” he teases, twisting the gold ring on his finger absent-mindedly.

    “Yeah, well, you seemed like you were going to cry if I didn’t.” He rolls his eyes and turns to look at him. “You’re not going to cry on me now, are you?” he asks, panicking at his expression.

    Ohno blinks away the tears and shakes his head. “Sorry, I got nostalgic.”

    They walk in silence till they can see the big cherry tree in the distance. There are no flowers now. It’s not in season yet. Ohno thinks it’s a shame. He knows how Jun loves cherry blossoms. But he also knows that everything in nature has an end. Only when winter will have passed and the tree will have mourned the loss of its flowers, the time will come that they will blossom again. It was sad and beautiful at the same time.

    He stops as soon as he can see Nino walk in their direction. Jun notices that Ohno is not by his side any more and turns around.

    “Why did you stop?” he asks, puzzled.

    “I’m sorry, Jun,” he replies. “I don’t think we can go together.” His lips curve up, and all the love he ever felt for him lingers in that bittersweet smile.

    Jun doesn’t say anything. He just looks at him with a sad expression.

    “Jun...” somebody says.

    He turns around and sees Nino looking at him with concern written on every line of his face.

    “Hey,” he whispers.

    “Hey.” Nino reaches to squeeze his shoulder.

    “How’s everybody holding up?” he asks, not sure he wants to hear the answer.

    “We’re here for you,” Nino replies. He always knows what to say, Jun thinks.

    He lets his friend drag his tired body to the big cherry tree. He still can feel Ohno’s gaze on his back, but he knows that if he turns around he won’t see anyone standing there. Just the ghost of a memory that has walked with him there. He turns around anyway. His heart aches and breaks even more when he sees that there’s no one there to look back at him.

    They’re standing under the tree now. Sho and Aiba are there as well, holding hands. They greet him without a word, just looking at him with affection and sympathy. Neither of them is crying, and Jun silently thanks them with a nod. He isn’t sure how he’s kept the tears away till now, but seeing any of them cry would surely make him fall apart in a second, and he doesn’t want that.

    He tries to remember Ohno’s smile. It’s okay, he tells himself, even though he knows it’s not true. He only realises he’s broken down when Aiba puts an arm around him and pulls him closer, letting him cry on his shoulder without a word.

    Neither of them say anything. It’s a beautiful day and the tree silently dances in the wind. Barren, brown branches buzz in the breeze. One day not that far away, spring will come again to warm the winter. And that day, they will all blossom again.

**Author's Note:**

> As you might have imagined, the title for this fic is supposed to be "Loss."


End file.
